Today I stumbled upon these old pictures of Madden on my cell phone.
Taken maybe 3 summers ago in Chicago.
We used to go on long walks in our neighborhood with the BOB and Madden always wanted to stop at the big grassy field behind the middle school to run on the grass and pick dandelions and blow on them, which really just meant spit raspberries on them.
These pictures brought back so many memories and for a second I just wanted to go back in time so badly.
Not because I don't love our life right now or love the age Madden is at
But because I just miss him being a little boy.
He's not a little boy anymore and it breaks my heart sometimes.
There's the baby stage, then there's the toddler stage, then theres the little boy stage and then all the sudden they're just, like, a real kid!
A kid whose completely independent and way too damn big for me to carry on my hip or push in a stroller!
I can't even tell you the last time I pushed him in a stroller...I think it was last Mother's day when we went on a walk to our favorite Downers Grove park!
Today Madden was running too fast as we left the post office and he tripped and fell hard on the sidewalk.
He was crying and his knees were all skinned up and he reached his arms up for me to hold him, so I did.
And I felt like my back was gonna break!
I looked down as I held him on my hip and his feet dangled all the way down past my knees!!
I remember a stage when he was little and he always wanted to be held and I just wanted my arms to be free, to have a break and to be able to get things done around the house!
Now, I would give anything to have a baby on my hip all the live long day.
And I know that when I do have that, I won't take it for granted.
I will enjoy the ache-y arms and the hurting back and the inability to get anything done around the house.
And I will remember this moment, when I missed it.
3 comments:
I love this post. I have a million written posts and diaries about this exact feeling. I can see it, its all happening too fast. I feel like I just gave birth yesterday and now my baby is six months old, pushing me, wanting to be independent and I can just imagine how it gets. I am there with you, not taking a single moment for granted. These kids are so precious, all stages but I do want her to stop and just stay small...even though every stage she is at I say "this is my favorite stage!" Gahhh I want another.
You will be so glad you recorded those feelings you are having right now. What a sweet thing for Madden to read this someday when he is a teenager, a father, a grandfather. Time does pass too quickly - have to keep thinking - the best is yet to come :)
I love this post. I was just looking at the girls last night thinking, "When did they become PEOPLE?" Miss those babies! xo
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