funny stuff

(some of these funny stories have already been shared on insta, so sorry for the repeats...but I have to document them here as well so they can be printed in my blog books :) )

Lately, when Randy or I get impatient with Madden, he tells us to "just chill."  One day, Madden was the one losing HIS patience and I told HIM to "just chill" and Madden looked at me, shocked and said, "You don't chill me!"

One day, while looking through our DVD shelf, Madden found the church DVD "The Testaments."  He said, "Mom, who gave us this movie about Jesus?"  And I said "I think Grandma Brimhall gave that to us."  Madden said, "Why didn't she give me a SUPERHERO Jesus movie?"  I laughed and said "Because she thought we would like that movie about Jesus, its a really good movie!" And Madden said, "But doesn't she know how much I love superheroes!?"

On a recent Drs appt, I had to pee in a cup and Madden had to witness the whole thing.  He seemed really confused and disturbed by the whole thing and I told him not to worry, that only grown-ups had to do it.  Then he ripped a huge fart and said "When I'm a grown up, I'm gonna fart into cups."

At another recent Drs appt (there's lots of those these days), I had to pee in a cup but I just couldn't go.  So I asked the nurses if we could wait in the waiting room while I finished my water bottle until I had to pee.  I kept drinking more and more water and re-filling my water bottle cuz I just couldn't go.  At one point, Madden finally asked me why I was drinking so much water and I told him I was trying to make myself have to pee.  And he shouted, in a waiting room full of strangers, "Mom!  Just DON'T pee your pants!!!"

One afternoon, while Randy was at work, I built Madden a fort and he turned to me and said, "Mom, you're really pretty and I wanna cuddle you, but don't tell Daddy, K?"

A few evenings ago, Madden was sitting between us on the couch watching a show while Randy and I were discussing the possibility of buying a house.  We didn't think Madden was really paying attention or listening to us and at one point I said something like, "...well since we don't have enough money for a down payment right now..." and Madden, outraged, shouted at me "Yes, we DO, MOM!"  Randy and I laughed and I said, "Oh, we do?  Where is it?"  And Madden said matter-of-factly, "Its in your purse!"

Last weekend I told Madden, "Did you know that your cousins Teigen and Ashlyn and Corbin are moving to Mesa this weekend?" And Madden said "Did you know Lorenzo is moving here too?  He really is.  Tomorrow." (Lorenzo is his friend from Chicago)  I laughed and said, "Oh really?  Who told you that?" And Madden said, "No one.  I just made it up myself."

Whenever I take Madden to the playground at our apartment, he loves taking all his Disney Pixar race cars and we race them down the slide.  He sits at the top and sends them down, and he likes me to stand at the bottom and tell him who was the fastest or who "wins."  He raced Francesco and McQueen down the slide and I said, "Francesco WON!"  And Madden said, "So Mcqueen sucked??"  I was trying not to laugh and I just said, "Well....no...he just didn't win."  And Madden said, "Oh.  I thought he sucked."

A few weeks ago, at Target, I was checking out and paying for my stuff when Madden started freaking out and talking excitedly about something "really really cool" that he saw.  I was half listening, half ignoring, as I was busy checking out, but I was catching bits and pieces like "its really really tiny!" (he loves tiny things), "it has a tiny red shirt" and "a tiny mustache" and its "so so cool! you gotta see this!" I thought the whole time he was talking that it was a cool toy he saw, but as he kept describing this "really cool" thing to me, I started to realize it was a PERSON he was talking about.  A midget. (a small person?  midget?  I don't even know what the politically correct term is).  As we started leaving Target, Madden was so bummed that he didn't get to show me this "really really cool" thing he saw and then out of the corner of my eye, I saw him...he was indeed very tiny, wearing a red shirt, and had a tiny mustache.  He was a Target employee and he stood on a step stool at the cash register. When I noticed him, I didn't want to draw Maddens attention to him again because I didn't want Madden to point and freak out.  So we just walked out to the car and once we got out there I talked to Madden about how its not nice to point and talk about people like that who look different than us.  Madden couldn't understand why it was bad cuz he wasn't making fun of the guy or saying anything that he thought was mean, he just thought he looked "really really cool" but I kept trying to explain to him why it was still wrong and could still hurt that persons feelings.  As we started driving away, I could just see the wheels turning in his head and he asked me "what was he doing there mom??" and I said "I don't know...same thing everyone else does at Target I guess." Madden thought a little bit more and then said "I think I know what he was doing....I think he was buying really really tiny things..."