12 weeks
13 weeks
14 weeks
15 weeks
Even though I am showing WAY faster with this pregnancy and am a little nervous at how large my belly is going to be by the end of it all, I have to say, I do like that I actually look pregnant now.
I waited soooooooo long to be able to look at myself in the mirror and see a little bump, and it just makes me happy to see it.
That being said, this hasn't been the easiest or smoothest pregnancy.
I hate to admit this, but, at times its been so miserable that I have actually uttered the words: "I never want to be pregnant again!"
!!!!!!!
And after trying for a baby for 2 1/2 years and praying and begging and pleading with Heavenly Father to bless us with a baby, I feel AWFUL that I have said or even THOUGHT such a thing!
But pregnancy does crazzzzzy things to you.
Not just to your body, but to your mind and your mental state.
And even though I am extremely thankful to be pregnant, it is hard to FEEL happy and positive and thankful right at the very moment that you are leaning over the toilet puking up your lunch.
Or right at the very moment when you are writhing in pain in bed at night because you're so nauseous and even throwing up doesn't make the nausea go away and neither does zofran.
Or right at the very moment when you're getting a huge needle stuck in your backside as you lay on your bruised stomach where you just had ANOTHER needle stuck in you.
Its not like my pregnancy with Madden was perfect or anything, but it wasn't this hard.
I'll spare you all the awesome details, but I've had every horrible pregnancy symptom possible and I just haven't felt like myself.
And to be totally honest, I was a little sad and dissapointed that of both my pregnancies to be this awful, that it would be this one, the one I've waited for for so long and the one that I went through so much to get.
I thought I'd enjoy and savor every second of this pregnancy and never complain once, both because I'd waited for it for so long and because it may have to be my last.
And I'm a little disappointed that hasn't been the case.
But I've come to the conclusion that its ok to complain about pregnancy sometimes.
Pregnancy is really hard, and some pregnancies are harder than others.
And when it gets really hard, and you are miserable, and you complain about your miserable state, that doesn't mean you are any less thankful or appreciative of the fact that you are pregnant.
Not too long ago, before I was pregnant, a friend of mine was venting to me about what an awful pregnancy she was having and how miserable she was and then when she found out I was going through fertility treatment, she felt so bad and was apologizing to me for complaining.
And I said "you don't have to apologize! Pregnancy is hard! You are allowed to complain!"
And its true!
So the moral of the story is, don't judge pregnant people for complaining sometimes.
And don't judge me. ;)
Cuz I'm really super happy that I'm having this baby and I would do it all again if I had to.
(I think) ;)
5 comments:
right there with you. it blows! hang in there, only 25 weeks to go! :/
I agree! I think after the fact it's easy to forget what a mental and physical strain pregnancy can be and when you're back in it you're like "oh...wait!!" Keep up the great work and feel free to complain to me whenever you want!! xoxo
I agree and I always thought that since I had to wait so long to get pregnant AND do IVF that my pregnancy deserved to be so easy! But it wasn't the case at all. It was like a hit after another with medical issues and those needles suuuccckkk....Its like...leave me alone, I am pregnant! And I even hoped for a smooth delivery and that was a 36 hour labor that was insane and went all sorts of wrong but in the end I got Leila! And you will get your bundle of joy and we all forget the horribleness of pregnancy and want to do it again!....until we get pregnant and remember how hard it is!
So sorry it has been so hard!! That is terrible! So I can't wait to find out what you're having and just for the record I am guessing girl:)
I have a good friend who struggled with infertility and she was always bugged by people complaining about their pregnancies. Then she did invitro and now she is pregnant with twins. She's been SUPER sick. Now every time you ask her how she's feeling she will tell you how sick she is but then right after she says "But it's fine!" lol. It's kind of funny how she is so over-the-top about making it seem as though she's not complaining (which she has every right to complain, it's been a really hard pregnancy). Finally I said to her, "It's okay if parts of pregnancy suck. I know how happy you are to be pregnant! That doesn't mean you have to act like being nauseous 24 hours a day is fun."
Post a Comment